Letter to a Man From His Beloved

Image: Le Printemps by Pierre Auguste Cot (1873)

My Dearest Love,

I need you listen very closely to what I’m asking of you, to tune into me, to make me feel like your priority.

Because when you haven’t listened to me you haven’t liked the results, have you? Save yourself some time.

I want you to take me out on some dates, go slow enough that I can feel your commitment.

But not so slow I get tired of waiting.
You met me when you were in a pretty dark place, and I get that you may not have been ready for a relationship then. But things are different now.

I want you to make me feel safe and comfortable, let the tension mount between us.

Then, only when it feels right, I want you to make love to me.

Sometimes it feels as if you don’t see me. Like I’m invisible to you.

When you don’t see me I can’t open to you.

It’s not so hard to listen, to follow my instructions. I should be your joy, but you’re so caught up in yourself you think I’m trying to change you.

I’m not. I love you without condition and without reservation.

Maybe you’re hesitant. Maybe you worry you’re not good enough, you don’t deserve me. As long as you believe that, our relationship is going to be fraught with difficulty.

I don’t want that for you, for us. So I’m asking you with all the love in my heart to PLEASE PLEASE learn how to love yourself so you can show up as the partner I want.

A man who honors and cherishes me.

A man who would never let anything come between us.

A man who speaks highly of me, who sings my praises for the whole world to hear.

Who takes me out in public.

Who gives me the space to be me, in all my wildness, and even responds to it with curiosity.

Who doesn’t value money, possessions, fame, or status above me.

Who knows that by embracing me he embraces his own life, fully.

Let’s make this work. It’s time.

Love,

Your Motherf#$%ing Life Purpose

PS: Stop expecting women to fill this role for you.